Back to school blues
There is a saying about parenthood that “You’re only as happy as your least happy child”. I think it’s probably true. As a parent you can’t help but worry, especially when things aren’t going exactly to plan.
Molly started year one last week and it’s been a bit turbulent since. There is a bit of a jump in expectations going into Year One. There is less time for play, more homework. In Molly’s school they start to split the children into ability classes for maths and literacy. Her class has also been muddled up from last year, she is with a couple of friends but not all of them. It’s a lot of changes for a girl who has only just turned five. We are getting the fall out from it at home.
The pressure of having to be on her best behaviour all day means she is like a wild thing when she gets home. Shrieking, jumping on the furniture, being too rough with her sisters, that kind of thing. It feels like as soon as I pick her up I am telling her off, and that isn’t what I want at all. On Monday I came in while making tea and the twins had whiskers drawn on them with felt tip pen. It was, in retrospect, quite amusing, and they didn’t seem to mind. Molly tried to convince me they did it themselves, but the lines were amazingly straight for a 2-year-old. At the time I didn’t see the funny side!
Last week when I dropped her off we were running a bit late and went in the car, rather than walking which she hates. I was cross as it was the first day we were late and we didn’t have our usual leisurely stroll to school, which probably didn’t help. Molly was really sad about going in and hung back. She didn’t cry but the teaching assistant had to come and get her to bring her in. At home time it sounded like she had stayed sad most of the morning, which isn’t like her at all. On the whole she has a sunny personality and doesn’t stay grumpy for long.
She’s also been struggling to sleep. Most nights she is still awake at nine, which is unheard of from her. I would expect her to be tired after her busy day. I suppose it is just symptomatic of her feeling anxious and unsettled and all the new experiences and expectations bobbing around her mind. I have tried asking her how things are but she says she likes her teacher and her class and her friends and was sad because she wanted to go swimming. but I guess she doesn’t know herself.
These are the things we’re trying to help her settle back into school.
1. I gave her a wow ticket this morning – this is the school’s praise system where they take in a ticket if they have done something good. Today it was helping rushing her sisters to safety when the bin bag spilt rubbish all over the floor as I was carrying it outside. Hopefully not a metaphor for the week.
2. I encouraged her to take in something special for show and tell.
3. I put a new water bottle in her lunch bag as a surprise from her sisters to show they are thinking of her. She wasn’t allowed to open it before school.
4. We had some “big girl” time after the twins had gone to bed playing her favourite board games.
5. I had a genius idea for getting her to relax before bedtime. I gave her a piece of bubble wrap to pop. It worked like a charm and she was asleep after fifteen minutes, although the sound of popping from upstairs was a bit disconcerting.
6. I talked to the teachers and let them know she was a bit worried about school and finding friends.
7. We met with some school friends over the weekend to remind her she had people to play with.
8. We set up a special surprise treat for after school – being picked up by her Daddy.
9. She went to school on her scooter – her favourite way to travel.
10. We talked positively about the good things at school and made sure she didn’t know what we were doing with the twins while she was at school – except for the boring bits.
Today was a better day and she is feeling more positive about going in tomorrow. Let’s hope it lasts.
Do you have any good tips for beating the back to school blues?
Oh bless her, I was going to ask you how she was managing the jump to yr 1 – and it is a jump too! Sounds like you are doing some lovely things to help her adjust. She’ll get used to it in time, seems like she has a lot of changes to come to terms with, and it must be really hard for you, too!
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We had a better start this morning and she didn’t sneak her teddy in or cry. So fingers crossed.
Oh you are brilliant – what a lovely mum you are for worrying and setting up all those lovely things.
Sadly it may not turn things around as quickly as you want. All I can say from our experience is that it is undoubtedly a phase. Mixing up classes is, as we all know, for the ultimate good, but it is tough at the time for the cildren.
If it helps, my daughter responded to disruption and new experiences by lots of night waking, to the point we were exhausted, bed-wetting, and huge tantrums where she would kick me and anyone else in her way. She said she was happy, had no worries, and loved school.
As a rule she is balanced, mature, gregarious, engaged with others, and aware of the night time rules to the extent that she knows to keep quiet at night. A good sleeper who had been toilet trained for months.
It was a nightmare. It lasted far too long – I would say 2-3 months. But it went. I couldn’t help her to work it out. I just had to wait for it to pass. And it did. And it came again, in a different form, and passed again.
Keep doing the things you are doing, and be patient, it will pass x
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Thanks for the comment. I guess I just have to wait it out. It’s the naughty behaviour I find hard because it means it’s harder to be patient and sympathetic. It’s just so hard when you can’t be there to fix everything.
Adjusting to going back to school for First grade is almost like a reality check for our little ones and now it’s a lot more homework and desk time than they are used to. Thanks for sharing these tips, we’d love for you to join our After School School Blog Hope where we share our experiences with our children with school and what happends after school. We find that looking forward to projects and adventures after school makes for good afternoons too. http://theeducatorsspinonit.blogspot.com/2012/09/alligator-fun-after-school-express.html
It’s such a shock – especially after the long holiday. Thanks fr the invite – I’ve linked up.
You are a very lovely mum to think of such fantastic ideas. We’ve had a few reluctant mornings too, its hard isn’t it? Especially when you can’t fully concentrate on the older child as you have to keep half an eye on the younger ones.
It’s so hard and really it’s only time which will make it better. Hope your mornings improve.
I love how you changed the way you travel to school with her, and the water bottle idea. Those little things are great and I bet they meant so much to her.
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Ahhh thanks. I think it seems to be helping.
Great, great post! Good job figuring out what your daughter needed to adjust to school. I have pinned this and am featuring it on this week’s Sunday Parenting Party post (will be live tomorrow). Please come by to see it and grab a button! http://www.dirtandboogers.com/2012/09/the-sunday-parenting-party-toes-rules.html
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Oh thanks for featuring my post. So nice of you. I will come and grab the badge when the girls are in bed.
This is something I think about often, even though my son is not at school yet. I wonder how he will adjust. Your ideas are so thoughtful. How is your daughter going now? I’ve featured your post on my blog today as one of my favourites from last week’s Sunday Parenting Party. Thank you for linking up.
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Thanks for the kind words and the feature. Last week was quite hard with a couple of really bad days where I had to pick her up as she wouldn’t walk in.
Thursday and Friday were much better and on Friday she went in with a smile on her face.