Listography this week is 5 things I’d change about myself. I like to think I’m pretty self aware. Like Mr Darcy says “I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding.”

1) I thought I would take a straw poll of the house and ask what are my main character flaws. Apparently, I can’t take criticism?!?

Me: You don’t think I have anything I need to change about myself, do you?
Husband: Well you can’t take criticism.
Me: Can’t take criticism, what do you mean?
Husband: You get really defensive.
Me: No I don’t.
Husband: But if I ask where my football shirt is you think I’m saying that you never do any washing and the house is a mess.
Me: No. It’s just it’s very hard to put all the washing away when the babies are around because they pull it all out. I can’t leave them downstairs or they’ll break things. It would help if you would put some away sometimes, and why can’t you say something positive. You should say 3 nice things for every negative thing you know….
Husband: ?
Me: Um….well…maybe you have a point.

So number 1 is that I would be less defensive and accept criticism graciously.

2) The thing that drives me mad about myself is I have a complete inability to keep track of things I am holding. I would love to never lose or misplace anything. I have a pen in my hand – I look down and it’s gone and I have no idea where I put it. I like to think this is because my mind is focusing on more important things, but really I’m just incredibly ditzy. It’s got worse in this past year, I have lost 3 credit cards – and forgotten them half a dozen times, I misplace my phone nearly every day. I like to blame this on double baby brain but really I’ve always been the same.

It’s worse when I lose other people’s things. I lost my husband’s work keys in our local park, locked him out, lost his credit card while I was borrowing it because I couldn’t find mine, and accidently threw out his passport so we couldn’t go on holiday. Poor long suffering man. Only good thing: I always remember the 3 children. So far!

3) I try to do too much. I have all these grand plans. It is impossible to fit in all the things I want to do in a day. If I don’t do everything on my list then I’m disappointed in myself. It’s especially bad when you have children as nothing ever goes to plan. It gets worse before Christmas and easter – I want to do every lovely activity with the children possible. I try to live by the rule that you can’t do everything. It’s just I want to do it all.

4) To be braver on the phone. I hate phones. Why were they ever invented? It stems from a few disasterous calls when I was younger – the first few times I tried to call someone I dialed the wrong number – and I still feel that embarrassment each time I pick up the phone. I never call anyone except my mum. I love to text – but sometimes it’s just easier to call. Whenever I actually do I have a lovely conversation and really enjoy it. It’s just the act of picking up a phone and dialing is so off putting and it’s easy to hide behind facebook and emails. If I have a call to do like arrange a plumber or cancel insurance I will put it off for days. I also hate getting phone calls, the phone always rings when I’m doing something else. I always hope someone else is in the house so they can answer it. Luckily my daughter is now four so she can answer. Fantastic! It’s a good lesson for her – at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now

5) I wish I could read instructions and ask for help. I guess this goes with number one. If I read instructions or someone tells me what to do I take it as a subtle form of criticism. Do you think I don’t know how to do it? This means I never read instructions. Which means I never make anything properly. I just won’t be told how to do something, even if it’s something new. My daughter is just the same – her favourite sentence is: “I can do it myself!” I really sympathise!

So hope you’ve enjoyed this list. If you haven’t please don’t telephone to tell me how I could have done it better. I won’t be answering the phone! Hang it, I won’t be able to find the phone to answer it!

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