My favourite daughter is…..

December 1, 2011

Earlier in the week I blogged about some of the questions I am asked on a daily basis. One of the ones which has most astounded me is which is your favourite child? I have been asked this a couple of times and every time I am shocked no least by the fact that they ask me with the children in hearing.

So I thought about it long and hard today.
I have finally decided which is my favourite daughter.

Today she

  • made a puppet which looked like me.
  • got so excited when she was praised she even clapped herself (just like me)
  • run up to me for a cuddle shouting mummy whenever I came in the room
So which one is my favourite? OK I’ll admit it, they each did something today which made my heart swell with pride and affection. Its flippant to say they are all my favourites and I don’t want to just dismiss the question by saying I don’t have one. I think it’s important to consider how you are treating your children and if they all get a fair deal. At the same time I do not believe you can treat all your children the same. I have twins, so I you might think they both get the same parenting. They don’t. One sleeps more than the other, one spent the night in hospital with me, when they were a month old, one looks more like me, one is more independent, they are very different and they way they are treated by us and the world will be different. However I think it’s worth taking time to consider that the deal they get is fair. 

Favouritism is a question I often think about. It’s something I often talk about with my family. Apparently it is often the case that the youngest child is the favoured one. Research has found that 59% of the time parents favour their youngest child. I am a youngest child and while I wouldn’t say I am the favourite I do know it is a lovely position to be in. You have your parents and your older siblings to look after and protect you. The research also showed that the eldest child often has more in common with their parents and will confide in them more, perhaps this is because of that unique time they had when it was just them.

Typical youngest child?

For myself, I have three children. The youngest is the youngest by only a minute. Yet she is still the younger. When I was thinking about it today I did realise that I do think of her being the youngest. Although she was first to do some things, the big milestones of crawling and walking took her a little longer. I also think she also looks younger, though whether this is my perception or not is hard to say. I will admit our youngest is the one who gets away with the most. At just under 18 months she knows exactly what she wants, usually my purse, and she is already having a tantrum to get it. Having three children under 5 means sometimes its easier just to let her get her own way. I know this is something I need to be careful of, as getting your own way all the time isn’t good for anyone.

So who is my favourite? I would say whoever is being good at the time, whichever one is making me smile or laugh. They are so different. For me the key is finding the thing in each of your children you like the best. Then they can all be favourites.

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